SPECIAL ENGINE AND ELECTRONIK: Funny

Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

100 Ways To Order A Pizza [Funny]

Here is a list of 100 ways to order a pizza, but not in regular way! Continue reading...

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- Mommy, Mommy! It's dark down here! Shut up or I'll flush it again!
- Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac? Shut up and help me get Gramma off the doorknob!
- Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff? Shut up son, you'll wake your father.
- Mommy, Mommy! The milk man's here; Have you got the money or should I go out and play?
- Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running? Shut up and reload.
- Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street! Shut up and step on the gas!

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The Attractive Lady Joke

8:24 AM Funny, Jokes No comments

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.
"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

The Perfect Man Joke

8:00 AM Funny, Jokes No comments

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing… You’re just like Frank!”
Passenger: “Who?”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right, all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star – you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”
Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow indeed. How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank, he died and I married his f**kin’ wife.”